As a first-generation college graduate holding two bachelor degrees in Sociology and Chinese, now pursuing my Masters in Public Administration, I had the thought of sharing my personal experiences of navigating through higher ed with other students for a long time. I am inspired to share what I’ve learned overtime because attending college without any initial guidance or mentors, I made many mistakes and stumbled over many obstacles. Some of the mistakes I made were simple ones that could of been easily avoided with minimal guidance. Other mistakes were very complex with heavy implications. The challenges that I faced as a student we’re not always school related, however. For example, I've experience a lack of social support as a first-gen student. It's not that my family and friends don't want the best for me, but I will explain.
I'm a lifetime learner and I've been enrolled in the school system much, much longer than most of my friends and family. A good amount of my friends are anti-college and most of my family members didn't continue past high school, but for my parents it was even less. Because of this, the importance of going to college is easily overlooked by them and since they might have already settled into their current work/life position, question if college is even necessary. I do, however, understand questioning the return of investment (ROI) of attending college since today obtaining a bachelor degree will just about score you a job that pays $12-15 an hour; yet anyone can flip burgers at McDonald and earn $9-13 without needing so much as a high school diploma. And with the average college student-debt of about $30k per student, can you really be unsympathetic to their doubts?
LACK OF SUPPORT BECAUSE OF MISUNDERSTANDING
I am not saying that I’ve continuously experienced minimal support while in school because some of my relatives were tremendously helpful and supportive. I’ve also met some of the most supportive individuals whose influence has changed the course of my life for the better and cheered me on every step of the way. However, what I am saying is that because I have experienced this, I understand the mental stress that comes with it; as a result, I’d like share what I've learned to provide some insight of what's to come on this long, challenging, and, sometimes, lonely road.
Most people will recognize and respect that you’re trying to better yourself by pursuing a formal education. And if you’re a first-generation student, you’re most likely surrounded by family members and friends who think of school as the natural and honorable thing to do; start elementary, advance to middle school, then high school and eventually graduate college; furthermore, most parents of first-gen students tend to believe that education is the key to a happier, more fulfilling life. My mother is an example of this belief.
But if school becomes the reason why you don't socialize with some friends or close relatives as often, you’ll soon find out that school in their perspective is not as important to them.
What those certain individuals don’t understand is that first-gen students will encounter many tough challenges. As a first-timer, you’re balancing your academic life, social life, an internship, job or career, and extracurricular activities. On top of all that, also trying to learn how to navigate the higher ed system; for example, trying to understand FAFSA/financial aid. As an Enrollment Service Specialist, I've been counseling students and families on Fin-aid matters for over a year, and i'm still learning about it as policies changes ever year! First-gen students usually learn about housing, meal plans, campus activities, academic related process, billing and registration information; and if they're are needs-base students, learn to advocate for themselves to obtain more aid to participate in activities or programs such as studying abroad or across state courses. All of this with zero guidance is difficult to learn, takes a lot of effort and creates stress. It also must be learned quick or you'll find yourself in a similar position as me of unknowingly taking unnecessary courses that I found interesting; and as a result, I wasted more time and money.
The silent rules of academia is that to to achieve academic success you'll have to give up sleep or your social life. Usually, a students' social life is the first to suffer.
Those who have not complete higher ed or attended it won't really understand why you stood up until 2-3 am studying for an exam or why you'll often be too tired to hang out because of it. The once supportive friends over-time will think about you as the friend who’s always too busy to hang with them. Although you will become too busy for casual drinks on a weekly basis, in this context, the connotation of the busy friend is more of a “Oh, look at X who thinks himself too important for drinks.” I say this from experience. Not only that, I've been asked multiple times if when will am I planning to get my life started and even heard the"Look at how good I am doing and I haven’t been to college. It's not worth going, it's a waste time and energy,” speech time and time again. Fortunately, the voices of my supportive relative and friends, who respected my decision to embark on this path, were much louder.
Do not take the shade personal. A person who’s never been into a university will not see school through your perspective and perhaps you'll get the same doubt from a college graduate. Every person has experienced school in a unique way for themselves and arrived to their conclusion-- sometimes its not a positive one. Of course, there are many valid reasons why some people just don’t make it to college; their relatives might come from an improvised country where obtaining an education is a privilege and not a right, lacking financial resources or access. Although these barriers such as theses are outside of a persons control, this still doesn’t negate the ripple effect of ignorance it causes in regards to college. First-gen students you must accept this fact and learn to be okay with it, because a lack social support doesn't always stem from negativity, but mostly from misunderstandings.
